IMPERFECTION IS PERFECTION; THE GREAT ILLUSION
Why perfection sabotages your happiness and how imperfection can set you free
Let me ask you a question: how often have you wondered if you are good enough? Not smart enough, not attractive enough, not successful enough, not perfect enough? If I'm honest, I do it too. Every day we are surrounded by images, stories, and messages that tell us we need to strive for an unattainable standard. But here’s the truth, and maybe it’s hard to accept: perfection doesn’t exist. In fact, chasing it often makes us unhappy, insecure, and most importantly: it keeps us trapped in an illusion. This is one of the reasons so many people today feel insecure and anxious, with over 10 million Dutch people (!) living with physical and mental chronic conditions.
It took me years to understand that my real strength lies in my mistakes, in my vulnerabilities. And maybe that sounds like a cliché, but the more I think about it and experience it, the more it rings true. In this blog, I want to show you why it’s time to let go of perfection. How striving for flawlessness actually limits you, and how by embracing your imperfections, you can live a richer, healthier, and happier life.
The urge for perfection is all around us. It sneaks into our lives through commercials, social media, and even through the artificial intelligence we increasingly use. This constant pressure to be flawless causes us to trap ourselves in an endless pursuit of something that simply doesn’t exist. And yet, we keep trying.
Commercials: The sales pitch of ‘perfection’
I remember the first time I realized that commercials don’t just sell products; they sell a feeling of inadequacy. They don’t just tell you that you need that latest face cream because your skin is dry. No, they subtly whisper in your ear that you’re not beautiful enough without it. Every commercial wants you to feel something: insecurity, desire, or the idea that your life isn’t complete without that specific product. Fear! It’s a masterful marketing strategy. They create a problem you didn’t even know existed and then offer their product as the solution.
The biggest lie commercials tell us? That there’s a ‘perfection’ we must strive for. But that perfection is a fantasy, designed to make you feel dissatisfied with who you are and what you have. Commercials tap into a fundamental human feeling: the idea that we are not enough. This isn’t accidental but a deliberate strategy. Ads create a sense of lack to convince you that you need their product to fix that feeling. The idea is simple: if you use that expensive face cream, you’ll finally achieve that youthful beauty you’ve been missing. But of course, that’s not how it works. Even if we buy that product, we soon find something else about ourselves that needs to be ‘improved.’ The result is an endless cycle of desire and dissatisfaction.
Take a deodorant commercial, for example. What do you see? A sporty, confident man or woman surrounded by people who all admire them. The message? If you use this product, you’ll become more attractive, more confident, and even more successful. But what we often forget is that the whole scenario is fake. The faces are edited, the bodies perfected with makeup and Photoshop, and the people on screen don’t wake up with perfect hair or the perfect smile. It’s a fantasy, designed to make you believe you’re missing something.
And here lies the core of the problem: these images of perfection are unattainable. And yet we measure ourselves against them, often unconsciously. The result? We feel inadequate and become increasingly fixated on what we can ‘improve’ about ourselves.
Social Media: The filtered life
If commercials already make us insecure, social media adds an extra layer. Social media is like a virtual stage where everyone only shows their highlights, the shine of their lives. Reality stays behind the scenes. But what we often forget is that this online world is just a small, carefully censored version of real life. Where commercials give us an idea of perfection from the outside, social platforms like Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and increasingly WhatsApp status updates offer us the chance to create and present a perfect version of our own lives to the world. And even though we all know that what we see on social media is only a small, carefully selected part of someone else’s life, we tend to compare our reality to it.
Let’s be honest: how many filters are used for a simple selfie before it appears on Instagram? How many photos are taken before you finally find the perfect one to share? Sometimes I catch myself doing the same thing. We select the perfect moment, we choose the best lighting, and with a few taps on the screen, imperfections are erased. But what happens behind the scenes? The morning when I feel tired and stressed, angry or irritated, the mess in my house, or the moments when I doubt myself – those never make it to my feed.
What does this do to us? It creates a false reality in which it seems like everyone is living a perfect life except you. It makes you believe that your daily life, with its ups and downs, is not good enough. This constant comparison to others – or rather, to the polished versions of others – can deeply impact your self-esteem and happiness. And the irony? Many of us do it, even though we know it’s not the truth.
This phenomenon has even gotten a name: FOMO, or the Fear of Missing Out. This fear arises because we are constantly exposed to the highlights of other people’s lives, making us feel like we’re missing out on something or that our own lives are less valuable. Social media amplifies this because we always have access to these perfect images, anytime and anywhere. The pressure to also appear perfect, to meet the standards we see on our screens, only grows.
AI and Art: The new perfection?
The latest player in the illusion of perfection is artificial intelligence (AI). AI has the ability to create things – texts, music, art – that often seem flawless. Blogs are generated automatically, music is composed without a wrong note, and even paintings can be produced without a brushstroke being touched. It all sounds so impressive, and it is. But something is lost in that perfection.
AI doesn’t make mistakes. It works with precision and efficiency. It can create the perfect melody without missing a note or produce a painting without a single smudge or crooked line. But is that what defines art? Many of the most valuable artworks, books, and music pieces contain precisely those imperfections that make them unique. Think of a live performance by a musician who misses a note, or a painting by Van Gogh with his characteristic, ‘irregular’ brushstrokes.
Take the film industry, for example. Nowadays, movies are often heavily edited with CGI (Computer Generated Imagery) to make every detail perfect. But if you look at older films, you sometimes see rough transitions, small errors, and imperfections that add to the character of the film. Many of those older films have a timeless quality, precisely because of their imperfections. They feel more human, more real.
If everything were perfect, would we still be moved by art? Probably not. Because it’s precisely the imperfection – the authenticity and vulnerability – that touches us as humans. A novel without emotional complexity or a piece of music without unexpected twists loses its soul. AI can deliver flawless work, but it lacks the chaotic, emotional, and human element that makes real art special.
Making mistakes: The path to growth
There was a time when I was terrified of making mistakes. Whether it was at work, in relationships, or in my personal projects – I wanted to do everything right. But the more I tried to be flawless, the more stuck I became. I was afraid to take risks, afraid to try something new. What if I failed? What if people saw that I wasn’t perfect?
Let’s think about mistakes. How often have we been taught that failure is bad? In school, we are rewarded for good grades and punished for mistakes. In our careers, we are often judged based on our performance, where mistakes are seen as weaknesses. But what if I tell you that making mistakes is not only normal but essential for growth?
We learn by failing. Think back to a big mistake you made in your life. Maybe it was painful, maybe you felt ashamed, but what happened after? You probably learned something important, a lesson you wouldn’t have gained otherwise. Mistakes force us to reflect, to critically look at ourselves, and to discover what can be different.
In my own life, I’ve often been afraid of making mistakes. I always wanted to do everything perfectly, whether it was at work, in relationships, or even with hobbies. But that fear of failure held me back. It kept me from stepping out of my comfort zone, from allowing myself to try new things for fear that I wouldn’t succeed right away.
It wasn’t until I embraced mistakes – when I understood that failure is an integral part of the learning process – that I began to grow. I realized that mistakes didn’t define me, but how I dealt with them did. It gave me the freedom to take risks, try new things, and let my creativity flow.
This applies not only to personal growth but also to innovation and creativity in general. Many groundbreaking inventions and ideas have often come from failures. Think of Thomas Edison, who said: “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work” before inventing the light bulb.
Letting go of perfection: The key to freedom
So what if we let go of perfection and allowed ourselves to be less influenced by commercials and social media, and saw AI as just a tool? What if we gave ourselves permission to make mistakes, to be vulnerable, and to embrace imperfection?
The truth is, when we stop striving for perfection, we discover our true selves. It gives us room to be authentic, to show who we really are, with all our flaws and insecurities. And that is where the real beauty lies. It is our imperfections that make us unique, that give us character.
Letting go of perfection doesn’t mean we stop striving for improvement or growth. It simply means we are no longer trapped by the idea that we have to be flawless to be loved, respected, or successful. When we accept our imperfections, we become more compassionate with ourselves and others.
In conclusion, perfection is a myth. It is a story we tell ourselves, fueled by media, technology, and society’s expectations. But it’s a story that keeps us trapped in a cycle of dissatisfaction. True happiness comes when we embrace our imperfections, when we stop comparing ourselves to unattainable standards and allow ourselves to be human.
So, let’s stop striving for perfection and start embracing imperfection. Only then will we find the freedom to live authentically, fully, and happily.
Conclusion: Imperfection as a Source of Freedom
Freedom lies in letting go of perfection, not in chasing it. Let this be an invitation to release the pressure. The pressure to always perform flawlessly, to meet the unrealistic standards of commercials, social media, and even artificial intelligence. Life is messy, chaotic, and full of unexpected twists—and that’s exactly what makes it worthwhile. Go with the flow of life; don’t swim against the current.
So, go out there, make mistakes, dare to fail. It’s through those imperfections that you’ll truly find yourself and discover what it means to be truly free. When we embrace our mistakes and accept that life doesn’t always have to go perfectly, something miraculous happens: freedom.
Freedom to be yourself without constantly worrying about what others think. Freedom to create without fear of not meeting certain standards. Freedom to live your life on your own terms, instead of trying to live up to an unrealistic ideal imposed by society.
Freedom that allows your ‘lighthouse’ to shine even brighter!
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